Many tears have been shed over those who chose a different way. As parents, we cajoled, encouraged, preached, and bribed at times to foster spiritually sound decisions. I felt like a failure. I was embarrassed that I wasn't a good enough example. Maybe I wasn't loving enough, or spiritual enough, or kind enough.
A couple of weeks ago we were singing a church hymn, and the words that asked for the blessing of "courage to accept thy will" appeared in one of the verses. Suddenly, the thought came to me that part of His will is to recognize the agency of others. Sometimes, accepting that part of His will requires great courage, great humility, and great faith that He knows so much more than we do.
Before this experience, I thought accepting His will meant being patient during situations that we cannot control. Now, I understand that the Father's will is for all people to be able to choose their own way and for the eternal details to be resolved by Him and through the atonement of Jesus Christ. All of my efforts to teach and be an example were not wasted, but neither were they a formula for my success as a parent. Successful parenting involves teaching, encouraging, supporting, and then letting go so that the principle of agency is fulfilled. Successful discipleship means accepting the choices of others, loving them for who they are, and standing ready to comfort and mourn right beside them during their difficult days. By recognizing each person's right to choose their own way, I am finally learning to have the courage to accept the will of the Father.
